Grief is generally considered as the normal response after suffering a loss, or what is the same, a conciliation with the loss. Grief is not understood as a state in itself, however, as a process during which those who go through it have psychological, physical, social and/or behavioral reactions to the fact of having lost a loved one, objects or have experienced some radical change of circumstances in your life. This, in addition, translates into feelings of fear, despair, anguish, depression, anxiety, anger, and a host of emotions that imply signals in the person, even triggering drug or alcohol consumption tendencies in the course of the first year. , increasing the risk of suicide or cardiac events, among other serious health problems, for which family and professional support is very necessary.
Grief is undoubtedly a high-stress and first-dimensional event that we all have to face eventually. According to studies, the loss of spouses and children are the scenarios of greatest stress that a person can go through.
On many occasions we are not aware of the consequences of a loss. This leads us to go through unrepeatable, changing situations, although it can vary depending on the person, the family or the social and cultural context in which they are immersed.
Types of grief
There are different types of grief. For example, those whose cause is death due to accidents. In general, death is an event that occurs unexpectedly or violently. Its impact is therefore usually something terrible, which often leads to a feeling of responsibility for the death of the person, even if it was out of the control of those who feel responsible. In the same way, pain arises, grief, where those who suffer the loss do not escape from repeatedly thinking about the last time they saw the deceased in life, and how they could have prevented his death. The enormous weight that this feeling of guilt implies can influence the mourning not to develop or to be blocked for a long time. Other times, another culprit is searched tirelessly, the one who, if he appears, could make the person grieve, even saying goodbye.
The expression of contained feeling, whether it be anger, impotence, etc., will make it possible to free oneself from this guilt, accepting reality.
Death due to catastrophes also has its characteristics. It is absurd and beyond the limits of our control when a disaster occurs, so as a result of it a collective grieving process is generated. Those who emerge unscathed often also experience feelings of guilt that they did not die in the place of others they loved. Reminiscences, anxiety, impotence, inability for not having been able to help others enough, and lack of expression of their emotions also appear, to cite examples of some of the consequences.
In other cases, when death by disease occurs, it is almost always preceded by a process where the family unit is altered and uncertainty about the patient or survival appears. Grieving people often wonder what happened, why this had to happen to their loved one, what else could have been done, etc. Normally, when the patient dies after a chronic illness, the family has already received some psychological support, but there is also a kind of anticipatory mourning that, in a certain way, helps them to be alert and to prepare the mourning, which is not It happens when the death has its origin in a heart attack, murder or other causes, which causes a more traumatic loss that will make it difficult to overcome the mourning.
The reality is that after any duel the emotional emptiness arises. Sometimes, those who go through it need to have someone with whom they can talk, recount past experiences or remember good times of the deceased. Psychological help can be very beneficial when the person is blocked or in a state of shock or falls into a deep depression. He must receive help mainly from the family, exhorted him to express his feelings in order to find comfort. Psychological interventions have the main purpose of trying to gradually make these people accept the reality of the loss, providing them with tools to deal with their emotions and pain. By accepting reality, they must overcome the impression that it is not real, accepting that the death occurred and that the deceased individual will no longer return. This acceptance is a process that requires time, as it has to be accepted both intellectually and emotionally, so no scolding or any other type of reprimand should be made until it is overcome.
Dealing with pain and emotions is not an easy task, it becomes a matter of expressing authentic emotions, negative or positive, and facing the pain. Sometimes you are not ready for it, and that is when you deny or block feelings, painful thoughts, avoiding grief and manifesting depression.
It is very favorable at this stage to adapt to the absence of the deceased in the environment where one lives or frequents, redefine the loss instead of not adapting to it, as this leads to paralysis, isolation, not carrying out daily activities or not developing skills new or other roles in the social or family environment. Individual or group therapies can help a lot in this regard.
The bereaved must seek help when they are not in a convenient place in their emotional life to continue living. However, each person needs their own time and has their own rhythm to grieve. This is essentially a solitary process, although it can feed on the presence and support of others.
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